


You're my star, Patrick.

by DaveWaveMaveGaveJohnPonMon



Category: Spongebob - Fandom
Genre: Gay, God why, Homosexual, M/M, im laughing so hard because its becoming serious and no, pls, why
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-06
Updated: 2015-11-15
Packaged: 2018-01-18 08:23:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1421335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaveWaveMaveGaveJohnPonMon/pseuds/DaveWaveMaveGaveJohnPonMon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sponge Bob and Patrick blush a lot and fuck under Patrick's rock house. I guess you could say they're really ROCKING IT.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. who lives in a pineapple under the sea

**Author's Note:**

> Dick up butt.

It was just a regular day in your moms bikini bottoms. Like legit she has somethin' permanent going on down there, it's like tiny people are living in her crotch, wtf.

You grind your teeth together and try not to think about that again, holy shit damn.

\----MEANWHILE IN ACTUAL BIKINI BOTTOM----

 

Spongebob wakes up to the sound of his alarm going off, it really sounds like Pearl farted in your face or something but you kind of shimmy that thought away to the back of your mind and save it for later when you think very kinky thoughts about your boss' daughter. You greet your pet snail as per usual and clean his shit up, what a lazy snail, can't even wipe up his own ass leavings. 

After you're done with that slut you feed yourself and get ready for work. You leave to visit your old pal Squidward first. The bitch is asleep again, so you kindly go up to his room and wake him up by screaming. He seems to appreciate it. He kicks you out of his window and you're glad you expected it so you have time to pick out all those glass shards, what a nice man.  
Then you knock on Patrick's rock and find he's stoned as fuck again, dude's so high and fresh on life... hell yeah..  
Patrick grins at you and invites you in.

You decline. "Sorry Pat, gotta go to *dolphin noise* work"

He sighs sadly and looks up at you with puppy fish eyes.  
You cannot resist him any longer.

You press your sponge body flush against his pink abomination and kiss him right on his thin animated lips.  
Goddamn it feels good.  
You've wanted him for so long and now you can't get enough.

His rock slams to the ground and he throws you over his shoulder, walking to his bedroom which nobody has even shown the audience yet.

He throws you onto his sand bed and planks on top of you awkwardly, your sponge is hardening, you're ready..

 

..you're ready to please Patrick


	2. Oh no, Mr.Krabs.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mr.Krabs finds out about Patrick and SpongeBob. Enough said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Giant, bullet shooting, Crab cocks.

Patrick lays there with you for a couple minutes, a large heavily rolled Seaweed joint sticking out of his swollen, sexy, cartoon lips.

"Hey Pat.." You begin, circling your index finger around his chubby pink suction cup stomach.

"Uuuhh.. yeah SpongeBob?"

"Why do you only want to have sexual intercourse when you're high?" You pause the movement of your finger and glance up at him curiously.

Patrick does not look happy.

"Bitch, what the fuck do you mean. I work my ass off day and night to feed this family and this is the shitty thanks I get?!"

"Pat.. we don't have a family, and you don't even have a job, I do."

"Oh.. right."

The silence that fills the room makes you feel sick but thankfully it doesn't last too long, though you would have prefered if it had been broken by someone else.

"Arg, SpongeBob me boy, where be ya."

Your large eyes widen and you clasp a hand over your own mouth as your stomach lurches. You forgot to go to work. 

Not going to work means large punishment. 

Not going to work means no money.

Money means Mr.Krabs.

You fumble around and fall off the bed, crawling over to where you clothes had gotten discarded in the heated mess you were just involved in. Right as you're fixing your tie, the rock lifts up and you meet eyes with an very, very, unimpressed boss.

Mr.Krabs narrows his eyes and slips into the room, allowing the rock to slam above them. He's about to open his mouth to say something when his eyes shift and meet the hot image of Patrick laying flawless and naked on the bed.  
SpongeBob's eyes lower and he notices a large lump forming in Mr.Krabs' pants. 

Punishment just got sweeter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not even going to apologize.


	3. cockblock krabs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cock the block a cock block cock

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some days I sit down and just think to myself, why.

"spongebob y u do dis" yell mr krabs in agony cos spongbobb so chocice booty as fuck.  
"krabz do not understand" the sponge looked up at mr krabs v hotly because he is the cutest thing in the sea obv. mr krazb get hard. "spogn pls.. not at work. am busy counting me money." sponge bilb does not give fuck, he press his bod to crab and make him squeaky clean. krab likes this and moans out in a low deep man voice that echoed off of the krustry carb walls. all customers are scare cos they think a ship gonna come an taek them away, no good. secretly squuidwar knows what thefuc k is going on and he is mad becous he likes spognboil and craves his squeak squeak. just then, ptreick came into store looking for hamburg and instead seez da squid lookin p sad.   
"y u all up and frownin my brutha" said the stone cold gangsta g, Patrick, he knows hes cool because he adjusts his weird sunglasses. squidwar farted sadly and Patrick nodded in agreement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't give a damn


	4. I want to fucking die.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please just fucking burn me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so, somehow Plankton ends up in someones ass, I'm not going to name names, but it happens, not in this chapter though, I got tired of typing and thinking of shit to put down.

Dumb ass shit is happening and nobody knows why.  
After Squidward farted, the restaurant filled up with this foul smelling gas, causing everyone to puke their guts up. Meanwhile, Mr. Krabs and Spongebob were banging so hard.  
Vomit's absolutely everywhere. Clothes are absolutely everywhere. Patrick is having seizures. Spongebob is squeaking like a motherfucker. Squidward is crying. Mr Krabs is cumming.  
Everyone is dead. All because of Squiwards massive fucking fart. Why is this happening? Why is everyone being killed by squidwards sad bodily functions? 

I don't know but we are going to have to fund SO MANY funerals now. Goddamn.. That's like 20 GoFundMe accounts right there.   
Squidward is obviously still crying, he sunk to his knees, tentacles covering his eyes, the sound of Patrick foaming out the mouth and Spongebob squeaking filling the air.

Gary is at home still, not gonna go out tonight, huh lil buddy? It's about 7pm now and Spongebob has returned home, gotta feed the snail slut. He notices something is wrong.  
Agitated with the strange difference he spots on the snail, he inspects the situation further.   
Yellow is the new blue, apparently, because usually Gary wears turquoise eye shadow today it is.. yes.. you guessed it.. YELLOW.

"Gary, what the fuck?" Spongebob yelled as he ripped off Gary's eyelids angrily. "What the fuck were you thinking? What kind of hoe wears yellow eye shadow?"

"MeOW... MEOW MEOW?" Gary screamed back.

"Exactly, a mediocre one."   
A sigh came from Spongebob before he lifted Gary and gently placed him on top of his head, getting a little blood on his sponge because of the ripped eyelids, but otherwise, everything was fine. 

Spongebob sniffed the air before his nose dried up and fell off, making him cringe.

"Damn, you haven't been douching your asshole after getting fucked, have you. Shit smells like Satan ate out Davy Jones and then took a huge dump in his locker. We have to get you clean."

**Author's Note:**

> For real? There's another chapter? Really??


End file.
